Sir Lavish Jesse and Oscar Wiki
Welcome to the Sir Lavish Jesse, Oscar, Carl and Prince Jacameer Rancho. Sir Jesse, Sir Oscar and Master Carl are probably the richest people within Hemel Hempstead and maybe even the Hertfordshire area everyone else around them and people that accomidate the hertfordshire area are all peasants. They all attend a peasant school called The Hemel Hempstead school and they wear peasanty clothes to fit in. It is heard they Jesse and Oscar wear louis vuitton socks and underwear at school along with a hermes belt and have Gucci Pens and paper while Carl doesn't wear nothing, not even underwear. Some say they don't even go to the canteen to get water because they get their water from Mt Everest itself, Also some say Carl is owner of the biggest meth lab this side of the hemosphere and supplys some of the most famous people with there fix (Elvis, Norman and even Grayham norton). Their slave at their mansion is the founder of Wallis Simpson’s Panther Bracelet and he is nothing to them, they sometimes like to throw eggs at Bill Gates window and have been recorded by the press spitting on Richard Branson. It is heard that Jesse may be buying out Stone Island and burning all the stock and Oscar wants to buy out Louis Vuitton and give everything to a tribe in africa. As mentioned before Carls meth lab is the biggest on this side of the hemosphere, his current purity of meth stands at 98.78%, you can find his good on the black market site sheep market place [https://sheep5u64fi457aw.onion https://'sheep'5u64fi457aw.onion]. It is said has made over 60 million in profits from this buisiness and is by far the most richest of the three. He owns them and to him they are both peasants. Some even compare Carl to Walter White from the Breaking Bad series, but a much richer and more organised version. Carl, is a master of the art of synthesizing methanphetamine. He starting making meth at the age of 6 months the idea came to him while drinking his bottle of milk. He built his empire from the ground up and is untouchable. Some say Carl had clashed with Chuck Norris.....And won buy making him smoke his meth. Carl makes meth but doesn't smoke his product all though he does eat it, he supplys the meth to the peasant meth heads of the world. As a baby carl could bench press 100kg and at the time of speaking he can bench press 890kg, he trains every day and starts his day with a bowl of meth infused weatabix. Every time carl enters a room this song HAS to be sung; Once upon a time Not so long ago Tommy used to work on the docks Union's been on strike He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough Gina works the diner all day Working for her man, she brings home her pay For love - for love She says we've got to hold on to what we've got 'Cause it doesn't make a difference If we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot For love - we'll give it a shot Chorus: Whooah, we're half way there Livin' on a prayer Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear Livin' on a prayer Tommy's got his six string in hock Now he's holding in what he used To make it talk - so tough, it's tough Gina dreams of running away When she cries in the night Tommy whispers baby it's okay, someday We've got to hold on to what we've got 'Cause it doesn't make a difference If we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot For love - we'll give it a shot Chorus We've got to hold on ready or not You live for the fight when it's all that you've got This is the best video ' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtSgWZbL_kE 'Their Lifestyle ' When they have cereal, They eat Herme's cereal. One box costs around $800 but remember, this is nothing to them. They go by the saying "What is money, just some paper... which I have loads of" When is comes to going to the toilet they have a solid gold toilet powered by a Lamborghini's engine to flush down the water, it is said they wipe their arse with £50 notes however many don't believe it. As far as it comes to family, they spit on them and look at them as peasants. As said earlier, they only drink water that is fresh from the springs of Mt Everest and their knifes and forks are Louis Vuitton. If you are reading this right now, You are most likely a peasant and want to be like Oscar, Jesse and Carl. 'Prince Jacameer Rancho Known to be affiliated with Jesse, Carl and Oscar and most knoteably Joseph Kone and the richest member of the Gaddafi tribe, Pappa New Guinea's Prince Jacameer only bathes in Satan's piss especially ordered from the Queen's national reserves. In 2012 he exclusively bought 40 thousand Toshiba Laptops built in 1933 as a conspiracy made by the American Government to watch girls with names like Chloe Obesefatshittitsthatshouldbekeptofffacebook (pronouncedsmith) post their fat blobby tits on facebook ... oh all these laptops were fitted with top 'notch' Adobe Cs 0.5 Programming to remove impurities such as Kelsey Barnes The renknowned princess of skankiness from peoples photos P.S nor the lavish family or prince Jacameer liked her cos' she stank of shit, therefore she was banished from Hartey's palace never to show her face again. Despite rumours that Jacameer was the genius behind the modern day toilet, it is believed that he is the reason that the famous Pearl Harbour bombings occured as he more famously stated "I prefer Pot Noodles to the chinky delicacy of egg fried dog". It is also a fact that his arse is en-cased with 1 MillionCr of diamond incrusted gold, so much so that his ass has dragged on the floor for the last 10 years of his non-sedentary lifestyle and his once beautifully plated arse is know all scratched and fucked up! Known Ascociates of the Prince Jacameer include the former king of one of the Korea's Kim Jong il who was thought to have died due to the natural cause of a heart-attack due to a 'state classified' stress related condition however, Jacameer claims that the reason why he died is because he told il that the "prepostorous" claim that he got a hole in one on his first ever full course game of golf was "bullshit! evidentally because he is a midget, he is 5 foot fucking 1 for fuck sake". In the years leading up to the Nasa space Expedition of 1969, which resulted in the first man to step foot on the moon, the U.S Government planned to capture and abduct Prince Jacameer from his tree house in spain, where he molested Oscar Lavish and left him for dead, luckily the U.S didn't take an interest as they needed to acquire the services of Prince Jacameer, and luckily for Oscar Lavish he survived. with Jacameer's help the U.S discovered the presence of two alien life-forms on earth. they had escaped captivity from area 51, and took on the identification of two girls by the name of Nicole Kunt and Sophie Koogan. Nicole Kunt was resultantly sent back to the moon to live out her life as a Nun sworn to countenance due to her past unmensionable mis-dimeaners, where-as Sophie Koogan was Detained and locked in a dog rescue centre to live out her life with a floppy eared bastard dog named Ryan Gas-Kid. Jacameer also aided MI6 in capturing the notorious nigerian P.I.M.P Dr.Rafool who brutally deminished the definition of the word manogomy by wedding 646 wives, held prisoner in his nigerian ass. The where-abouts of Jacameer has been described as un-locatable since his last known siting at 9:01 pm on halloween day described by an adeyfield 'younger' Leighton who is a representative of the the world-wide C-Block organisation described as "FUCKING UP MAD MAN'S YARD WITH MANS LIKE JESSE LAVISH FAM! BIG UP C-BLOCK", the BBC 1 news team had to flea the area due to various eggs being lashed at them violently. He was later reported to be seen on the 27/11/2013 but it is believed that reports were greatly exaggerrated and a student of The Hemel Hempstead school said "it was probably only someone that looked like Prince Jacameer Rancho". Category:Browse Category:Jesse Category:Oscar Category:Lavish Category:Sir Category:Life Category:Rich Category:People Category:Most Category:Earth